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Real men?

Be a mentor

I see these "Real men do this..." images all the time. A doomed attempt to tell men what it means to be a man via images with bold text shared on social media. Even if they say things that everyone agrees a man "should" do, how is it really helping?

Real men do this

Fake it 'till you make it

People seem to think that we can help men be men by simply telling them to ACT like a man. But what we have ended up with are confused boys who do what society labels as "manly", but still don't FEEL like a man. As a result, they continue trying to prove themselves as men, getting more frustrated by the day. They end up with fragile egos, that even while doing all the "right things", can still be destroyed with one word or comment. When they grow up and have families of their own, it leaves them in a very unstable position, lashing out at every threat to their perceived manhood.

If we show our boys how to have the heart of a man, the actions follow.

A different way

We are trying to make men through behavior modification. A man is not made this way. A man becomes a man through a heart change.

We tell our boys that real men open doors. This is not right. Anyone can open a door, even my 3 year old son can open a door. That will not make him a man and I do not want him to think that it does. While i will raise him to be polite and open doors, I want him to learn that what is in his heart is more important.

I want him to grow up knowing that he can act like a man because he has the heart of one beating in his chest. If we continue focusing on behavior modifications rather than the heart of a man, we will continue seeing our society pump out cheap imitations. If we show our boys how to have the heart of a man, the actions follow.

I want my son to have a heart that prefers and serves others, so he opens doors or carries bags.

I want my son to have a heart to honor women, to treat them with respect. Not to get in their pants or impress them, but because he has the heart of Christ.

I want my son to have a kind and gentle heart, to love his wife as God loves her.

I want my son to have an understanding that violence does not make a man, but a man has a heart to protect others and is willing and able to step into harms way and use force when it's needed.

I want my son to have the heart of a man, not just imitate one.

Recommended reading: Wild at Heart


About Me

My face
Curt Blanshan / Youth Pastor, Tech, Lover of Bacon

Crazy in love with my wife and best friend, father to a little ball of energy I call my son, and passionate about youth ministry. When I get time, I try to keep up on tech. Oh, and I love bacon.

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